Remesiada: BOSII SI CALTABOSII

November 20th, 2007, Mihail Galatanu

„Cei ce au bani mănâncă mai mulţi caltaboşi – şi-atât”, s-ar putea spune, parafrazând un celebru vers al lui Mircea Dinescu. Nu, nu traficând voturi. Nu, nu traficând speranţe. Nu, nu traficând droguri, arme albe (sau negre), ci traficând… palincă. Şi caltaboşi.

Aşa au fost prinşi boşii guvernelor şi partidelor noastre.

Aşa se trafichează la români: fostul boss îi dă actualului boss, fostul ministru actualului ministru. E ca o ştafetă. Ştafeta corupţiei. Acţiunea „şpagă din bătrâni”, că la noi „şpăguliţa e lăsată din moşi- strămoşi”, aşa, precum colindul, brânza, viezurele, varza, menumorutul. Cât de pedeştri sunt! Nu tu o cocaină, nu tu un haşiş, nu tu, acolo, o heroină cinstită. Nu. Caltaboşul. Ăsta e unitatea de măsură în politica românească. Şi e ca-n sex. Cu cât ai caltaboşul mai mare, cu atât eşti mai tare. Nu m-ar mira să apară, mâine, o manea cu titlul CE PALINCA MEA! sau CE CALTABOŞU’ MEU! Sau un sitcom, sau un blog, sau un serial pă la proteve, cu titlul:PĂLINCĂ & CALTABOŞI! O să intre în folclor. Ăştia or să intre în folclor. Banal! Dezgustător! Nu tu acolo un secret trafic dă arme. Nu tu o ACŢIUNE ŢIGARETA 1 sau 2! Penibil. Pedestru. Rupestru. Reprobabil. Vulgar. Tăriile şi caltaboşenia dumneavoastră, boier Ciorbă! Asta suntem: o ţară de ciorbe politice, de calta- boaşe vârâte pe gât, de pălinci supte din ţâţa şpăgii şi trase adânc în venă. Măcar ştim cum stăm. Caseta de la tevereu a echivalat cu o execuţie în direct, la o oră de vârf. Asta zic şi io „maximă audienţă”. Aproape că sunt invidios pe reitingurili lu’ avram, remeş & ciorbă! Şi cum să nu fii: ieri niminea nu ştia cine-i ciorbă, iar amu’ ştire are toată ţara. O popularitate care l-a costat o sută dă kile dă trăscău bun, de maramu! Se bătură televiziunile la gura lor, care mai de care să transmită „volumul II” al casetei, după ce pă prima o înfierară cu patos! Păi e imoral! Da, e imoral, da’ mai bag-o o dată! Pă post. C-aşa suntem noi, românii, imorali da’ pofticioşi. Suntem un pamflet dă ţară! Orice-am face, din când în când, tot ne cade caltaboşu-n vine! Indiscutabil, acesta va rămâne un eveniment al anului. De prins în orice antologie. Dar să facem o scurtă recapitulare a lucrurilor.

NAIVITATE. Toată povestea a părut de la început cusută cu aţă albă. Să te cheme Mureşan la o terasă oarecare, în văzul lumii, şi tu să te duci, aşa, ca purce- luşul în gura lupului amator de thrillere, asta greu se mai poate vedea. Naiv Remeş. Dar poate nu naiv Avram. Naivi noi, dacă ne închipuim că aici începe, se termină – şi aşa se scrie istoria şpăgii postrevoluţionare. Ăsta e un simplu/mic/umil episod dintr-un film care nu ni se va prezenta niciodată. întrebare: pă alţii nu-i urmărea SRI-ul, Doişunsfert şi alte sfertodoacte informaţionale? De ce tocmai p-ăştia? Iarăşi, întrebare: Avram Mureşan nu se ferea, iar dacă nu, de ce? De ce trebuia să fie tuşa aşa groasă? Nu ajungeau euroii? Nu ajungea promisul/pretinsul Audi? De ce „nota de plată” mai trebuia „umflată” cu pizmaşii caltaboşi şi cu duhnitoarea palincă?

POVESTEA CASETEI. Până la urmă, povestea casetei se va afla. Va apărea, însă, numai la momentul potrivit. Detaliile vor apărea pe rând, ciugulite, parcă, delicat – cu penseta. însoţite de felurite revelaţii. Supoziţii. Şi de ce s-a opus Alexandru Sasu la volumul doi? Să nu fie instrument? Dar fusese deja, o dată, la primul volum. Sau şi-a dat seama că fusese în eroare? Sau au apărut şi presiunile? Poate toate la un loc. Desigur că, dacă într-adevăr de la DNA provine caseta, atunci şi DNA poate fi învinuită de „pierderea” probelor de la dosar, dar, vă întreb: pentru Remeş sau Mureşan, asta ce mai contează? Dacă DNA i-a dat sau nu în gât, soarta lor va fi aceeaşi.

Citeste urmatoarea pagina: 1 2

Taguri: nr. 11 / noiembrie 2007

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007 at 6:24 pm, ZOOM, RSS feed

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